No More Labels, Only His

I received an email update yesterday from The Center for Faith, Sexuality and Gender. I wanted to share the email, which, firstly let me just say I am not bashing nor am I trying to speak poorly of Dr. Preston Sprinkle, who is the president or of this ministry. I have followed him for a few years and I know he loves the Lord and means well. I just felt like I had to respond to this because it hits so close to home as someone who once, and for quite a significant chunk of my life, identified as a lesbian. I agree with him on so many different areas/topics, but this one thing I keep seeing and hearing and it doesn't sit well. So here is the email message, and below that is the response I sent. 

Valuing Single (Gay) People in our Churches

Being a straight guy talking about same-sex sexuality can be daunting. I often feel like a fish out of water, like I’m in a conversation where I don’t belong. This is why I’m so thankful when I receive encouraging feedback from Gay/SSA Christians who have benefited from The Center’s work.

Here’s a recent note I received from a friend of mine named Chris. I loved how he emphasizes the need to know that he’s “first and foremost…made in the image of Yahweh” and how important it is for the church to become intimate communities for single/celibate people. Chris said I could share this with you all: 

"I sound like a broken record, but thank you again for the work you've done to recognize that we are all, first and foremost, beings made in the image of Yahweh. The other stuff is just secondary. When I first saw my sexuality as something that was just as important as my favorite color, it was life-changing. Sexuality as a primary identity marker is so shallow. We are so much more complex than to just be reduced to who we are attracted to. If we want the LGBTQ+ community to see their attractions as less important, then the church needs to follow suit as well. My passion would be to see the church truly value singleness, celibacy, and intimate community. I see those as the only way that the church can become a place where LGBTQ+ people will prefer the church to anything else. Rosaria Butterfield's "The Gospel comes with a House Key" so radically changed my mindset on having a home where ALL PEOPLE feel welcome to be real and authentic." 

"Preston and Center for Faith Team,

I wanted to write to you guys, because something is really heavy on my heart. I have been getting updates from Preston for a few years now and was initially very excited when he started looking into the LGBT issue and the church. However, this email and recent others I have read break my heart because I was once gay and very much so in the lifestyle for 8 years, but I surrendered my life to Christ in 2015 and He completely transformed everything about it, over a few years, lots of falls and hard lessons. Sanctification is becoming more like Him and as we draw near and seek Him and surrender, our desires begin to align with His. And I am in awe because I never imagined my desires could change. 

It doesn’t make sense to call someone a gay Christian. When we come to Christ, we no longer identify ourselves by our sin struggle. Yes, of course, we still struggle and we still fall and we still sin, but when we label ourselves by our sin struggle it gives it power over us. It also makes it really hard to surrender and to have hope or to expect that change can/will happen in that area because we’re still holding onto it and somehow okay-ing it by labeling ourselves as such. If I am a gay Christian why do I need to change, as long as I’m not having sex, I’m okay? But didn’t Jesus say if you’ve committed the sin in your heart it’s the same as actually doing so? So, if I’m gay inside (in feeling and in desire) but I don’t act on it, I’m still practicing homosexuality even if only in my heart. And God wants to transform the heart! That's what He does!

Our God is a God who meets us where we are but never leaves us the same. He loves us as we are, yes, but He doesn’t leave us in our sin. To call someone a gay Christian is like calling someone a murdering Christian or a lying Christian, when, if I have surrendered to Jesus, every area of my life, I am no longer going to call myself a name that He has already changed. And that's not to say that in doing so, all of a sudden I'm straight and all of my feelings change, but my core identity is not in my sexuality, it is in Christ, so all of my brokenness comes under His covering and He works on it a little at a time as He makes me more like Him. 

So I am a Christian. I am a follower of Christ. Not a straight Christian or a gay Christian or a confused Christian or an addicted Christian. I am just His. 

I beg you in the Name of Jesus to pray and really think more about this because there are so many like me who have come out of the lifestyle and who’s life has been radically transformed. God is clear that homosexuality is a sin and when He called us out of it it was because of this. And He is big enough to walk us through the messy transformation of lifestyle and everything that came along with it including the feelings and desires. 

No, they didn’t just go away overnight- it was hard, sometimes it still is, but isn’t this the case for any sin struggle? Do any of them change or go away overnight? 

I know this is messy and it’s difficult because we love people and we don’t want to hurt them and I know you’ve met some amazing people who you don’t want to offend or ostracize, but you don’t have to. They need to know the truth that He delivers completely. We will all stand before God one day, please don’t allow the enemy to use you to lead many astray in the name of tolerance and fear of offending. 

Love is walking with people through the transformation, through the sanctification even when it hurts, when it’s messy, when it takes longer than we thought and when we want to give up because it feels like change is impossible. 

God sent people into my life who didn’t understand anything about my struggle but knew the God who was bigger and stood by me through all of it. And it would have been so much easier to just say, well I’m a gay Christian and hold onto that identity, but God is good! He doesn’t partially save us He saves us to the uttermost! He doesn’t call us out of sin and then still call us by our sin. 

I am sending this on behalf of many who have come out of the lifestyle and are walking with Christ now. It hurts as someone who has walked this path, who's entire life was once wrapped up in the LGBT agenda and lifestyle, to see someone, a leader, that you look up to and know so many others are looking to for answers, use this terminology, take this stance.

He longs to set so many others free from this, and I know it is harder for some than for others, I'm not denying that. But they need to know that change is possible. And that we are not governed by or defined or labeled by our feelings or desires. This is what the enemy does to us, this is what the world does to us. 

In Christ, we are a new creation. In Christ, we are simply His. 

We don't ignore the things we struggle with and pretend they don't exist, we just surrender daily, sometimes minute by minute, second by second...and allow Him to work on us. And this is a lifelong process...where we need leaders to come alongside us and to remind us of who God is, of how He loves, of the freedom He brings and of the identity we have in Christ alone as believers who all struggle with something, but who God calls His. 

In Christ,

Gabrielle Rehmeyer

Author of Ransomed Heart"

I was encouraged to share this and hesitant to do so because it has been quite a while since I have blogged about this topic. Quite a while since I've spoken up in any arena besides my journal talking to Jesus and outside of my church family and small group. This is partially due to the fact that I felt God ask me to step away from it last year July/August and I didn't know, still don't know for how long or what this looks like. He asked me to step away from the social media, from the clamor of voices, and it has been an incredible year now that I think about it...observing all that has been going on. And it's been hard because what has been going on is heartbreaking. 

And I'm talking about the division that is taking place surrounding this issue within the Church, among believers. You have one group that says there is no issue with fully embracing your sexual identity- LGBTQ whichever you are and in these churches, many pastors are themselves gay or lesbian and these lifestyles are celebrated. And then there is the stance, such as this one that says you can identify as LGBTQ and Christian as long as you are celibate because homosexuality is recognized as sin, the act itself though. I partially agree with this view and have read books by and been so very encouraged by so many who hold this view, but I just feel like it is doing a disservice to the work and power of God. 

And finally, there are those in the church who believe that it is a sin, like any other, and that through surrender and the process of sanctification, something that He can walk you through, something that can be mended. Obviously, there are also still those churches who know the truth but have no idea (or maybe do and don't care) that the way they are delivering their message is full of hate and this is definitely the wrong approach and I pray that God would make this clear to them so that they can repent and allow His love and grace to enter in and transform the leadership to lead their sheep in love and truth, not compromising one for the other.

Listen, guys, God is able and willing to heal us, not just our physical infirmities, but those places deep down inside our hearts that are wounded and confused and broken and crying out for healing, for the wholeness only He can give. I was someone who for years wished someone would tell me I could be fully gay and fully Christian, that I could embrace both in my life. However, because I knew what the Word of God says, I couldn't convince myself this was possible, or rather, acceptable to God. When I started hearing stories of people who had been saved and walked away from the lifestyle, I was initially angry because then I knew it was possible to change, and I didn't want to. After many years of God pursuing me, I surrendered and discovered for myself that this was possible! That God is FOR REAL! He does not lie and He does save to the uttermost! Like I said earlier, it is a process, not overnight. BUT when I surrender He comes in and replaces what I give up with more of Him and it's incredible! 

When I started hearing about people who were both gay and Christian and practicing celibacy, it broke my heart. Not the celibacy part, I think that's great and I know God calls people to celibacy. It is a gift and for the past 5 years, one that I have come to love and respect because I have surrendered that part of my life to Him and I don't know for sure if or when there will be a Mr. in my life, but it doesn't matter so much anymore. 

The miracle is He saved me! And then one day a few years down the line I realized, HEY! I just thought that guy was cute! And another time, HEY I'm actually kind of getting excited about the idea of maybe being married one day to a man when a few years back this thought might have made me puke! These are miracles too!!! But the biggest one, He saved me. He changed me. And so now my entire identity is wrapped up in Christ, alone and I am open to whatever He has in store...whether it be to remain single the rest of my life or to have a husband. But regardless which it is, my identity is still wrapped up in Him, not my sin struggles, my past, my future, only Him. 

And this is my prayer for all those who struggle with this particular issue. I know it's hard, I know it's confusing, I know so many people you look up to are saying so many different things...but look to God! Listen to HIS promises. We as humans have come up with and continue to come up with some pretty weird beliefs and we make it so complicated when Jesus made it so simple. Not easy, but simple. We come to Him. He takes us as we are, where we are and He asks us to surrender our entire lives to Him. Then He begins changing us from the inside out...to become more and more and more like Him. And if we stay close, what can be a pretty painful process, can be so much easier because we are walking it out in intimate fellowship with our Creator, Lover, Friend...the only One who can transform us and oh how He wants to!

Will we let Him?

Since we have been united with Him in His death, we will also be raised to life as He was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. Romans 6:5-7

Now you are no longer a slave, but God's own child. And since you are His child, God has made you His heir. Galatians 4:7