This Ransomed Heart

I received an email update yesterday from  The Center for Faith, Sexuality and Gender . I wanted to share the email, which, firstly let me just say I am not bashing nor am I trying to speak poorly of Dr. Preston Sprinkle, who is the president or of this ministry. I have followed him for a few years and I know he loves the Lord and means well. I just felt like I had to respond to this because it hits so close to home as someone who once, and for quite a significant chunk of my life, identified as a lesbian. I agree with him on so many different areas/topics, but this one thing I keep seeing and hearing and it doesn't sit well. So here is the email message, and below that is the response I sent.  Valuing Single (Gay) People in our Churches Being a straight guy talking about same-sex sexuality can be daunting. I often feel like a fish out of water, like I’m in a conversation where I don’t belong. This is why I’m so thankful when I receive encouraging feedback from Gay/SSA C

I ran the Baltimore Half Marathon a few weeks ago. This was actually my 3rd time running this race. The previous two times were in 2015 and 2016. I decided to run it again because this time I would be running with my Back on My Feet (BoMF) Family, and I knew it would be special. Also, I ran as part of the BoMF team, so I was able to fundraise for BoMF, which I was super excited about- THANK YOU TO ALL WHO GAVE!!!  It has been 1 year since I joined BoMF. In fact, this morning was the halloween run, where we dress up and there are a few fun stops along the route to get candy and say hi to the other crazy people who are up that early. This was the first run I went on with BoMF last year.  Side note: we accidentally knocked on the wrong door this morning at one of the stops and that person was SO NOT a happy camper to be woken up at 5:30am by a bunch of adults dressed in costumes the day BEFORE halloween asking for candy…SO sorry random person. BUT it is just a little bit funny..

This week has been heavy. There is so much going on in so many people's lives and it's just felt heavier than usual. I've felt a call to intercede more intentionally this week and I am grateful that He would invite me into this battle, to war alongside Him, to stand in the gap for those who are going through a hard time. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you. But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, "I believed in

So, I went to sleep last night feeling very encouraged after worship practice at my church and an awesome conversation with my Pastor. I'm just excited for what God is doing. I don't usually have vivid dreams unless God is speaking something through them and they don't happen very often or when I was drinking I would have dreams of my past. I woke up this morning from a dream that was so very vivid. In it, I was throwing a party, showing off this new house I had just moved into, which was huge. My mom was there, helping me with hosting and showing people around. Then someone showed up from my past and I acted in a way that is very out of character for me. My mom found out and was crying and I woke up feeling like the dream had really just happened. Icky and heavy feeling. Then, when I got in my car this song came on- Never Going Back by United Pursuit. I know it's the enemy because God is up to something big and the enemy tries to distract us and weigh us down with sham

On the first page of my planner for 2018, I wrote, for some reason unbeknownst to me:  Year of Completion. Year of Clarity. Which is interesting. Because 2018 did not feel like it was a year of either of these. In fact, it felt more like a never-ending game of tug-of-war, blindfolded, on a tightrope hundreds of feet above a tumulous ocean. I saw it as a tight-rope. But looking back I think it was more like stepping stones through a calm river, with a loving God before, behind and beside me asking me if I will trust Him enough to take the next step. In my eyes it felt like every misstep, every mistake was this disastrous thing that could have been the end of me, but I think this has been a season of learning in safety. Like a child learning how to ride a bike, not knowing that their father is gently holding onto the back of the bicycle to keep them steady while they gain confidence to peddle. Eventually, he removes his hands so that they can truly learn to ride...but he is still so n